The pause before your reaction. Does it happen? –
How many times have you said something in a moment of anger or frustration that you so dearly wish you could take back? If you’re like me, plenty. –
When my kids were little they would call me into a lights-out darkened room to see a glow in the dark toy. “Mom, come look! Look at how it glows”, they’d say, all excited. When when the door closed, everyone could see the beautiful glow of the illuminated cool toy. Like this memory, when we pause before we respond, it gives us an opportunity to shed a little light on what’s going on. Pausing helps us shake out what’s really beneath the surface. It gives us power to decide how we want to show up in the world. –
According to the authors of The Yes Brain book, it’s called Response Flexibility. They provide the metaphor of being at a ball game. One person is the player and the other person is the spectator. You are both people. The person that wants to react quickly in anger is player. The person who pauses is the spectator. Almost like being outside of yourself, when you find yourself feeling overwhelmed with frustration, they suggest pausing to gain the light of insight. Take breath, ask yourself, what do I need right now? Breathe some more. What would be the best choice right now? Breathe. –
The power lies in the pause. –
“Without the pause, there isn’t a choice. It’s all reaction.” But pushing the pause button, allows us to take back that magic power we wish we always had, the power to control ourselves and allow the most sincere version of ourselves to be present.
It offers us response flexibility both behaviorally and emotionally. –
Pausing takes practice. I’ve had some tonight. And once again I learned that the light of insight can help me to shake out what’s really going on. To my utter amazement and thankfulness, I am reminded that choosing my most sincere self, the self that I want to show up in the world, requires power of choice. And the power, lies in the pause. –
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